Breaking Free From The Victim Trap

Victimhood encourages a consistent focus that makes one identify with the wrongs and damage done to you. It undermines your sense of self and destroys your power.

Being a victim is nothing to be ashamed of because nasty things can happen to anyone at any time of their lives. We do not have control over some of these occurrences. But we do not have to remain victims but aim to survive and then, transcend ultimately to thriving.

An emotional abuse survivor is usually trauma bonded and would generally feel helpless, defeated, shameful, discouraged, vulnerable and might struggle with flashbacks.

Victims often feel that they lack choice and have a bleak future. These thoughts and fixation on the present lead to little planning for the future.

Getting past the victimhood is necessary for your survival. It is essential that you n=begin to find ways to thrive and move on to becoming a survivor. This is only possible when you assume responsibility for your life and situation.

The Survivors Stage

The survivor’s stage for you begins when you start to take active steps to seek help; you feel insecure and less- confident with making decisions and asserting yourself at the beginning, but you keep pushing and as time goes on, you believe that you have a choice and the power to direct the cause of your life. Now you can see a potential for growth and change.

At this stage, you feel less guilty and assertive. This stage is not the ultimate destination.

We are after the thrivers stage where your healing is at a point where you are generally satisfied with life, and they feel empowered, determined and resilient. 

There is an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and actualisation because despite the traumatic experience you overcame and can sometimes look back and have a laugh about the past.

How to move from being a victim

  • Get out! Stop the abuse.
  • Identify with your strengths, skills and talents.
  • Remove your focus from your partner or the problems begging your attention. Focus on yourself, seek growth and development.
  • Surround yourself with positive-minded people, get social and meet new people.
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