Domestic Abuse: Rise from your ashes

Reality Check

You have made or are in the process of making one of the most significant decisions of your life – summoning the courage to put an end to this life-sapping relationship. You take stock of your life only to see how much you have lost. You become overwhelmed with the prospects of the future.

You may not have a career or a means of livelihood because you have sacrificially prioritised everyone and everything else, neglecting yourself and your needs. You may not have a support system or friends of your own, only mutual friends with your partner that you have had to cut ties, no self-confidence, no courage to face the world, worse still,  your self-esteem torn into shreds.

You now are faced with the reality of starting all over again, with absolutely nothing, this is daunting and very scary especially when you have innocent lives depending on you, those whose lives can either be made or marred by your decision. It is not funny at all. The feeling is crumbling.

Now you are faced with a different challenge, a different kind of fear; This time, it is not the fear of what your partner will do, say or how they will make you feel. It is the fear of the UNKNOWN.

At this point, you feel tempted to go back to the familiar; at least you know what to expect.

From my point of view, hitting rock bottom can’t get any worse than this.

The Choice is Yours

What’s your take?
  1. Return to the familiar. It is predictable.
  2. Spend the rest of your life depressed and revelling in self-pity over time and resources wasted (Completely justifiable) or
  3. Rise from your ashes and make the most of what you have now.

Bear in mind, you do not have the power to change the past, but there is so much you can do with now, this moment. You have NOW to change the future that otherwise would be influenced by the past. It is okay to feel afraid. We all have something we are scared of, but no one will openly admit it.

You may have lost so much, but its not all losses. You have gained something invaluable; The experience. You couldn’t have learnt it any other way. Now you are equipped with the right resources to help you navigate through life should you encounter these sorts of people in the future.

You have demonstrated courage and faced your worse fears of leaving the relationship, but the fight for your life doesn’t end here. You have to do the hard and conscious work of extricating your mind from the entanglement of false beliefs that have held you bound.

Deprogramming your mind is not the only key to finding and rediscovering yourself but also to redeem the time.

I Feel so Hopeless, How Can I Redeem the ‘Time’

Time is a dimension in which events are ordered into the future from the past through the present, and also the measure of the duration of events and the intervals between them.

Time can be squandered or spent productively. You cant retrieve lost time. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

One thing I have learned about life: Actions, whether positive or negative, are seeds. In-actions are also seeds and seeds can germinate, grow and yield a harvest. What sort of harvest are you looking forward to reaping?

The seeds you sow today with your time should give you a vivid idea of your harvest. Are you looking forward to a yield of regret and complacency or that of diligence and hard work?

There is nothing worse than working against one’s self or your mind work against you. Here, no one but you can save you from yourself. This is where the real fight is at, YOUR MIND!. You have to win this war with yourself and by yourself.

Winning is not an event. It is a process; it is a journey and one that requires time, courage and patience.

You have gained the skills to help you get started, but you lack the courage to take those first steps because you are scared to fail. You do not have the confidence to face the world because you have been brainwashed into believing that you can’t do anything right. So to avoid embarrassing yourself, you feel safer in isolation.

Those Tiny Little Steps, They Count in Redeeming The Time.

Have a clear goal for the future. Where do you see your self in the next 2,5, or 10 years?

Looking at the future in the light of where you stand at the moment, the future, your goals and dreams stand out as a vast mountain; So high and unreachable that you lose the courage to take the required steps forward. You feel it is pointless as you have supposedly lost the years you should have used laying the foundations for the kind of future you want for yourself. You feel like giving up. You have given up.

Steps to Consider

  • Take the eyes of your mind off the intimidating mountain of big goals and concentrate instead on setting smaller concrete goals for yourself and try to accomplish them.
  • Practice living one day at a time.
  • Get empowered: Take an online course, learn a skill, volunteer to help out in your local community, get out there, meet new people, have a positive outlook on life.
  • Surround yourself with positive minds that speak life into your existence and nourish yourself with the truth.

You sometimes will doubt your ability to achieve any success. Just do it anyway.

The tiny little steps you diligently take will bring to closer to the bigger picture. The mountain top. Your desired future.

Do not allow anyone to steal your time any further.

Start redeeming the time today!

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