Relationships are invaluable and worth fighting to preserve. But do relationships with people who are next to impossible worth it at all?
Healthy relationships require trust, partnership, accountability, empathy, responsibility, selflessness, mindfulness, responsiveness and mutual respect to succeed. These essentials are scarcely seen in relationships where the goal of one of the parties involved is to gain power over their partner.
There is a sense of safety in healthy relationships; on the other hand, an uneasiness and emotional volatility in narcissistic relations where accountability puts them in a place where they feel a loss of power over you.
An average person goes into a relationship with the mindset to build something real and lasting that will stand the test of time while difficult people are there to use what you bring to the table as a means to self-gratification.
Rational people do not seek power over their partners or loved ones. They understand the frailty and limitations of human nature and extend grace and forgiveness even when it is most difficult too; they compromise and make sacrifices.
Difficult people on the other deliberately and unconsciously rock the boat of their relationships due to an obsession with having a sense of control and absolute power over their partner.
Most of them go as far as measuring the effectiveness of their influence by their ability to induce negative emotions in their partners and put them on the defensive.
Ever been in a relationship where you find that the other party suddenly stopped being receptive or responsive towards you, giving you the cold shoulder for no apparent reason?
Or they find something, just about anything to whine about so that you can have a problem to focus on solving?
Their ability to create a problem and having to watch you enthusiastically seek to solve it creates in them a formidable sense of power and satisfaction.
They are after some one-upmanship that relies on an unequal distribution of power, and never a mutually beneficial relationship.
Trying to save a relationship with where this sort of character exists is akin to trying to catch the wind. The truth is this; you never were in a relationship, to begin with. At least, not a mutually beneficial one.
Authentic relationships are mutually beneficial and void of the quest to gain power over.
- Evaluate your relationships. How much is it contributing to your life?
- What toil is it taking on your mental or physical health?
- How much have you, in all ramifications of life progressed as an individual?
- How much is your positive experience in comparison to the negative?
- Understand and come to terms with your limitations in but we need to understand our limits.
This false belief of having something real is one of the reasons why victims find it hard to come to terms with the reality that they have been living a facade.