You may have found yourself in a complicated relationship where you have given all of who you and what you have, tolerated and perhaps up with so much unfairness; you notice that irrespective of what you do, you are consistently feel like a non-person, hushed and insignificant, worthy of nothing else but destructive criticism and blame.
Due to the volatility and unpredictable nature of the relationship, you are confused as to how to act, react or respond.
You wonder what they want from you because there no defined rules of engagement. Still, you believe that you are expected to have the ability to read their minds and instinctively know how to respond positively in their favour, to their ever-changing mood and needs, accordingly.
The Undefined Rules of Engagement in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Be unflinchingly and unquestionably agreeable and forgiving.
- Allow your entire life to revolve around them.
- Be flawlessly operational and never grow weary.
- Reflect well on them in the eyes of other people no matter what.
- Agree that they are the best thing that has happened to you and lived your life as though the purpose of your existence is to serve them.
- Have a high tolerance for emotional pain with minimal or no emotional needs.
- Always validate their feelings and represents ALL of the ideals that they are searching for in a partner.
- Believe they deserve your unconditional love, irrespective of how unfairly they treat you or how destructive their behaviour.
- Allow them complete control over you, to walk over you, do whatever they feel like to and with you and not question them for a second.
- Accept the status of the scapegoat who is responsible and consistently blamed for everything that is or goes wrong in the relationship.
- Allow yourself to put up with their excesses without questioning.
- Keep your ordeal a secret.
- Sacrifice a lot of (if not entirely) who you are, and what you stand for and become enmeshed with them.
- Even when they make you financially dependent on them, they are allowed to use your financial status against you, to put you down, also when their actions are damaging your self-esteem, and your outlook towards life, you are forbidding to seek financial independence if you do, you are not loyal!
The truth is this: nothing you do will ever be enough, and no matter how much you sacrifice you try to please and make them happy, you will never succeed.
Keeping up with these sorts of relationships can be both demanding and damaging, and the choice to exit or remain is determined by how much you believe in the original purpose of your existence and your life goals.
The choice is yours.